My burns, My memory, My soldier
by SarcasticChoices
Summary: When bombs go off at a NYC airport killing many Clary is badly burned and loses her memory. No one knows who she is or where she came from. Max is a five year old who is on chemo for cancer and his mom was killed. Max's father Jace is overseas and has no idea that his wife was killed or that his son has cancer. What happens when he comes home? Will Clary ever figure out who she is?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi guys! This is my second story! If you haven't checked my other story out it's about Jace and Clary and called Something to Live For. It's about and abused Clary going to live Magnus and Jenn a foster couple with their children; Alec, Isabelle and Jace. It is however very dark. This story however came to me when I had no ideas. I just started typing and then bam! This was born. Th events are fictional. not based on truth. Enjoy!**_

_****edited version****_

_**I do not own the characters or any quotes, but I do however own the plot! So please do not steal it!**_

_**Terrorist Attack Hits U.S.**_

_Bombs were placed strategically around the New York City JFK airport, in several planes, shops, offices and bathrooms. Only two went off and the rest were disabled. Lots of people were killed and many have been injured. An official death toll has not yet been released. Injured people have been rushed to the hospitals a If you are searching for a loved one or family relative please check the lists that will be posted on all major news websites and here Please do not try to contact them by cell phone all cell phones have been shut off as a precaution. Please check back later for a more recent update on the latest tragedy._

Beep. Beep. Beep. The fog slowly seems to drift from her mind but she knows nothing, where is she? _What happened? And what the hell is that god awful beeping?_ Beep. Beep. Beep. _God damn it. Who am I? I can't remember anything_. Yet she is aware that she is supposed too. As she becomes more aware she begins to realize the aches in her bones, the sharp piercing pain in various places, and worst of all the burning sensation. The burning seems to consume her. Taking control of her body and torturing her to beyond the point of comprehension. Gasping out for air; sobs wracked her body. _What have I done to deserve this? What exactly is this? Where am I? _She wants to open her eyes but is worried. Will she recognize her surroundings? Will it jog her memory? And if it doesn't? What then? _Damn it. What the hell is going on? I need to figure out where I am. I have to open my eyes, or at least try. _She tries to lift her eyelids but is met with darkness. Nothing but hazy shapes can be made out. Suddenly a door cracks open and a figure scurries inside.

"Nancy, hit the lights would you darling?" We need to check her vitals and check her bandages."

"Okay, sure thing." A voice floats out. The lights come on and the brightness almost blinds me. I gasp and shut my eyes as quickly as possible.

"Oh my god! Page the doctor! She is awake! Quick!"

She tries to squint to make out who said that. Slowly her eyes begin to adjust and soon she can open her eyes fully. Standing in front of her is an older, kinder looking woman.

"I'm nurse Nancy and have been looking after you for a little awhile. It is great to see you awake. I'm sure you're very confused, but before that is there any unbearable pain? Do you feel like you are going to pass out and can breathe okay?"

The girl laying in the hospital bed looks up and tries to answer, "I-I can breathe but the burning. What is that?" Her voice scratches and is harsh and rough.  
"Oh, sweetie. Hush up. It would appear that your vocal cords have not completely healed yet. The burning sensation is your burns. Third degree burns covered almost seventy percent of your body when you were brought in. Minor burns pretty much covered the rest. You have had a few skin grafts done but most of your burns still remain. It has been a few hours since we last changed your bandages and put new ointment which is why it is so bad."

The girl looks at her blankly; the words she is hearing don't seem to make sense. Burns? Healing? Seventy percent?

"Do you know who you are?" Nancy asks the girl hoping for yes.

"No." The girl whispers defeated. "I was hoping you could tell me." Just then a doctor bursts into the room.

"She's awake?" He asks excitedly as his eyes fall onto me. "Does she remember?" Nancy shakes her head and a little bit of excitement deflates from the doctor's eyes.

"It's okay. We will figure it out." He turns to the bed. "How are you doing? I'm sure Nancy started to explain things to you, but you must be hungry?"

The girl's pauses, trying to decide if she is hungry. She shakes her head. But asks for water.

"Of course dear! I will be right back!"

After Nancy leaves the doctor starts to speak again.

"Hi. I am Dr. Martin and have been attending to your case since you came here. Do you want to hear what happened or your injuries first?"

"What happened?" The girl says as quickly as possible in her scratchy voice.

"Okay then. Two bombs went off in the JFK international airport, two weeks ago. One bomb went off in a plane before it took off and one went off in the main office of the airport. You were found near the office with no form of identification on you. Around sixty or so people were killed and there were many people injured. You are one of the last injured persons to regain consciousness. Things have been pretty serious around the world and they have the bombers in custody. It was very serious. All airports around the globe were shut down for a day. All U.S. airports were shut for three days. You are currently in the New York Downtown hospital."

"Do you know who I am? Is there anything being done?" The girl asks hopefully.

"I'm sorry, but no. We do not know who you are. Your picture is all over the news and hopefully someone will recognize it. We have been doing everything we can but so far no one has called or come to visit you. I'm sorry."

Just then, Nancy came back with the water in a white styrofoam cup. She had two.

"Do you want ice or no ice? I wasn't sure so I brought both."

"Ice, please." Nancy handed her the cup and she slurped it down hoping it would soothe her aching throat. Tears started to stream down her face. She was alone. She literally had no one. She lay in hospital bed recovering from almost being burned to a crisp and she had no one. _Did no one care enough about me to come see me? Or at least call to tell them who I was? I had to have known someone. Maybe someone who hated me was laughing right now, at the fact that I have no idea who I was. Maybe with all the burns I just wasn't recognizable? Why me? Why me?_

She continued to sob, feeling bitter and alone.

"Clary! Clary, dear please stop! It's okay. We will find someone." Nancy tried to comfort her.

"Clary?" the girl asked through her sobs. "Is that my name?"

"Well, when you were asleep we had no idea who you were and it was unlikely that you would remember when you woke up. I was reading a baby name book and it was the last name I read before you woke up and I think it suits you."

"Clary. Clary. Clary." The girl tested it out and then gave a weak smile. "I like it. Could you call me that from now on? Please?"

"Of course"

"Absolutely." Dr. Martin and Nancy answer together.

"We will do everything we can to help you, okay?" Nancy comforts her.

"Thank you. Do you know anything else about me?" Clary asked trying to put all the pieces together mentally.

"Well, we think you are around eighteen or nineteen. We have no idea if you lived in New York or were just passing through. But based on your accent and how you are talking you were definitely native to the United States, probably somewhere in the Northeast part." Dr. Martin answered.

Clary sighed, they really knew next to nothing about who she really was. Then for the first time, she glanced down to look at her self. She was wearing a blue and white hospital gown. Bandages covered her arms, legs and torso. She looked like something out of a horror movie. She didn't know anyone and now no one would ever want to know her, great. She heaved a sigh, yawned and then glanced at the clock. It was a little after four in the morning. Wow.  
"I know it seems like you just woke up, but you might want to go back to sleep. Your body still needs lots of time to heal and it might be a good idea to adapt a regular sleep pattern" Dr. Martin says.

Clary resigns and lies back down; wincing as she shifts around to get comfortable. As the meds from the I.V. needle seep into her system she drifts off again into the land of slumber.

"Aunt Izzy, When are Mommy and Daddy coming back? Mommy usually takes me to my appointments."

Isabelle sighed and looked down at her nephew. Max was the son of her brother Jace and his wife Alice. Alice had just passed away in the bombings at the airport. Jace was still on tour with the U.S. Marines and wouldn't be back for another couple of weeks. He also has no way of knowing about Alice yet. At the time of the bombing Max had been staying with Isabelle while Alice was going to the airport to pick up someone for work. She had been by the office that had exploded and was believed to be killed instantly. So until Jace gets back Max was in Isabelle's custody and he needed to be taken to the hospital multiple times a week. Max is five years old and was diagnosed with lymphoma a few months ago. He is undergoing chemotherapy and other treatment for it. Max has stage one so they were all really hopeful that he will be okay.

_Jace is going to be a wreck when he gets back. His wife is dead and his only son has cancer. That poor man has already gone through so much. He is coming on home from hell only to find that hell is empty and that all the demons are here._

"Come on, Aunt Izzy! I want to see if the girl is awake!" Isabelle glanced down at the strange little boy. He was such a little ray of sunshine. He can always brighten up someone else's day. After the bombings there was a girl that no one knew who she was. She was burned horribly and had no one to look after her. Max passed her room one day and overheard one of the nurses talking about it. Ever since he has stopped at her room hoping she would wake up so that he could be her friend. It was the cutest thing ever. Isabelle looked at her phone, they really didn't have time but Max would be devastated if he didn't get to stop. They wound their way through the maze of hallways until they came to her room. A nurse was paused outside of the door.

"Oh, Max! Guess what?" The chipper woman asked him.

"What? What? Did she wake up?"

" Yes! She woke up last night!"

"Yay! Is she awake right now? Does she know who she is?"

The nurse shook her head. "She isn't awake and doesn't remember who she is. But last night, together we picked the name Clary. Isn't that a nice name?" Max nodded his head. She continued on, "If you come back after your appointment, she might be awake then okay?" Max jumped up and down and nodded excitedly.

"Okay!" He exclaimed and pulled me along to his appointment. It was easy to tell that Max wanted to back as soon as possible.

"Clary, come on dear. Wake up!" Nancy tried to wake up Clary without disturbing any of her wounds and bandages. "There is someone here to see you!"

Clary's eyes drifted open to find nurse Nancy, the nurse from last night leaning over her. In the doorway was an adorable little boy around the age of four or five. Next to him stood a tall woman with beautiful long dark hair. She clutched the boy's hand as he jumped up and down with what seemed to be excitement.

"Do they know who I am?" Clary asked hopefully, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

"No, Not quite. But Max here has been checking on you ever since he heard that you didn't have any family." Nancy smiled at the little boy who must be Max. Max bounded over to the side of her bed.

"You are pretty very." He said. "No. Wait. Very pretty. You are look more like my mommy and Aunt Izzy now. Before you looked more like me." He says very sure of himself.

Clary glances around confused at the boy's reference. _What did he mean "looked more like me?"_

Nancy introduces the other woman as Isabelle. _Well, that must be "Aunt Izzy" but then where is his mother?_

"Do you want to be my friend? We can play games and have fun together!" Max asked Clary his eyes lit up with hope.

"Sure! I will be your friend! I would love to play games with you." Clary answered.

"Yay! Aunt Izzy? Can I play now?" Isabelle looked guiltily between the two and had to shake her head. _Damn it Max! Don't use the puppy eyes on me! She thought to herself._

"No buddy, I'm sorry. You can play with Clary another day okay? But we have to get you home to take a nap and rest like we normally do after appointments remember?"

"But, but! Clary just woke up! Couldn't we stay just for a little?" Max begged pushing his lips out into a pout.

"No, Max. I'm sorry but we have to go now. Okay?"

"Okay." Max said dejectedly.

"We will come back and I promise you can play with her then okay?"

"Okay.: He said a little less sad this time. They left the room and then once again Clary remained alone. _What was wrong with that boy? And why was he coming here. Surely such a little boy couldn't be sick? No. Please no. And why was it his aunt taking him where was his mother?_

" That was Max and Isabelle." Nancy starts to explain as she changes the bandages. " Max is five years old and has stage one lymphoma. It's a type of cancer common in young children. He has been checking on you pretty much since you came in. He couldn't wait for you to wake up."

"Why is he staying with his aunt? Clary asked hesitantly not wanting to hear more bad news. Well it seems that someone up there is laughing at her, because she got more bad news.

"His mom was killed in the bombing, and his father is overseas somewhere with the marines. They can't get in contact with him so when he comes home in couple of weeks he will find out that his wife is dead and that his son has cancer.

"He doesn't even know his own son has cancer?" Clary asked horrified.

"Unfortunately not, Max was diagnosed a few months ago and Jace was on tour. They haven't been able to get a hold of him. So he is in for one hell of homecoming."

"That's terrible. That's awful. That's, I can't even fully describe it! I couldn't even think of anything worse!"

"You are such a sweetheart. You are confined to bed with horrible burns and yet you don't pity yourself, you feel bad someone else. You are an angel."

"I'm not, really. But could you imagine coming home expecting to have your wife and son happy and healthy waiting for you only to find that your wife has perished and that your son has cancer. That's just absolute tragedy. If that happened to me, it would kill me. I don't even know if I would be able to function." Clary finished dejectedly.

Clary flinched as Nancy continued to change her bandages.

"Does anything hurt? Do you want any pain medication?"

"Actually yes, I just feel sore and my leg is bothering me do you think you could give me something?"

"Of course dear." Nancy scurried out to get it.

"Alec, I'm really worried. How do I tell him? I can't keep lying to him. He think Alice is coming back. She's dead Alec! She's dead! But I can't just tell him. Or what do I tell him? Do I wait for Jace? I just don't know what to do!"

"Is, calm down. Breathe okay? In through your nose and out through your mouth. Calm down. We can get through this."  
" I just don't know what to do! I'm barely handling this myself. How could Max a five-year-old boy with cancer handle it. I don't even think that I'm handling this. Who am I kidding? I am not handling this."

"It's okay Is. We can get through this. You endure what is unbearable and bear it. That is all."

"Well that was extremely inspiring, Thanks Alec" Isabelle said sarcastically.

"Anyway, do you remember the girl Max dragged us to see at the hospital every single time we went?"

"Yeah."

"Well she woke up last night and Max got to talk to her today."

"That's great! Do they know who she is?"

"No, she couldn't remember anything about herself, even a name. But they are calling her Clary."

"Clary? Any particular reason why?"

"Not that I know of. I think the nurse got the name out of a baby book."

"Oh, Okay. Well did you talk to her? How is she doing?"  
"I don't really know. I stood in the doorway while Max talked to her. It was after Max's chemo so I needed to get him home and in bed for his nap. We didn't stay long."  
"How was Max today? Did he throw up? Was he really tired?"  
"He was okay. I was worried for awhile because he didn't go to bed right away but I think he was okay. He didn't throw up today."  
"Well that's good. At least he didn't throw up."

"Yes. How is Magnus doing? I know he was close friends with Alice."  
"He is doing okay, I guess. But you can tell he is down. He hasn't worn any glitter or super bright colors since she died. I think it's been hard on all of us."

"Yeah. This is going to take time.

_**Thanks for reading! Please review! I love reading any feedback you have to give me! I have some ideas but if there is something you think would fit with the story drop me a review or pm me! Thanks!**_

_**PS~ I'm not sure about the title. Some of my other ideas were; Burnt Hope. My Soldier, My Skin, My Son. Burning Love. Let me know what you think!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! Thanks for reading, this chapter focus' on Max and Izzy. They will play a huge part in this story as well as Jace and Clary. We also get to see more of Alec and Magnus.** **Enjoy!**

**I do not own the mortal instruments, I do however own the plot. Thanks!**

Soft cries pierced the night as Isabelle jolted awake. _What is that noise? Wait, oh my god! Max! _She scrambled out of bed and ran down the hall to the guest room where Max had been sleeping since he came to stay with her. Her hair flew out behind her as her feet padded against the soft plush carpet as she ran. She found him sobbing on the bed, curled up tightly. His face was streaked with tears and sweat coated his body. Quickly she put a hand up to his forehead to check his temperature. _He feels scorching hot! Oh, god. What do I do?_

"Sh, sh, it's okay Max. It's okay. Can you tell me what hurts? Please buddy? I need to know what hurts baby."

"My tummy!" He gasps out, breathing quickly.

_Shit. What do I do? I know this has happened before. But not when I was in charge of him! Shit. Okay. Calm down Isabelle. You need to be Aunt Izzy right now. What would Alice have done? I don't know what Alice would have done! If I knew, I would be doing it. Calm down, run through the basics._

"Do you want something to eat? How about some water? Would that help you?" Max just looked up pitifully at Is, and continued crying.

"What would your mommy have done?" She asked him, cringing internally at bringing up Alice.

"Mommy! I want Mommy! Where is Mommy! Why isn't she here! I want Mommy." He finished sniffling and he continued to cry.

_Genius idea! Bring up his mother. Really, just keep telling him that his mother isn't here and that she isn't going to comeback. I'm sure that will stop him from crying. I've got to do something!_

She gathered him into her arms and held him, trying to soothe him.

"Please Aunt Izzy, Where is my Mommy? Why isn't she here?"

_Damn it, um. I have to call Alec. I don't have a choice._

She glanced at the clock; it was a little past midnight. _I guess he is about to be woken up._

Ring! Ring! The dial tone sounded and then kept ringing. _Please Alec! Pick up!_ She tapped her foot anxiously while still trying to soothe a crying Max.

"Yello?" Alec's voice sounded sleepily through the phone.

"It's Max! I need your help; I don't know what to do. He won't stop crying. Something is wrong with his stomach and he was asking for Alice, and I just don't know what to do!"

"Okay, try to calm him down, Magnus and I will be right there. You might want to get dressed incase we need to get to the hospital."

Click. He cuts off the conversation and Max starts to scream.

"Max, baby. What hurts? What's bothering you? Please calm down, okay dear?" Max continues to scream and cry; his distraught shrieks slicing through the night.

"Can you point to where it hurts? Please, for Aunt Izzy?"

Max again motions to his stomach, but his distressed cries indicate that it has gotten worse. _Shit! Alec! I need you to get here! _

She scrambled around trying to soothe Max, while getting dressed and trying to decide what to do. _Do I take him to the hospital? I really don't want to be rushing him there every time Max has a stomachache, but I don't know what is normal and what would mean that something is seriously wrong. If this is something serious and I don't take him, I would never forgive myself. But I would look ridiculous if it turns out his is nothing. No. Isabelle that is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. When Alec and Magnus get here you are going to get your ass over to that hospital. _

A knock on the door snapped Isabelle out of herthoughts. She picked up Max who was beginning to drift off to sleep while crying. The door swung open to reveal Alec and Magnus standing there looking worried.

"Is he okay? Are we going to the hospital?" Magnus asked before anyone else could say anything.

"He is still crying and I think we should take him to the hospital. I don't want to risk it. And hopefully if this is going to be a normal occurrence they could tell us how to deal with it next time?" Isabelle answered and they all start moving downstairs.

"Alec, could you carry him?"

"Sure thing." Alec scooped Max into his arms with one big swoop. He kissed the little boy's forehead and they headed out into the lit up streets of New York City.

They all climbed into the van and Alec held Max as they drove to the hospital. All together they marched up to the emergency room doors and stepped inside.

"Excuse me, this is Max Herondale. He is a cancer patient here and he woke up crying and screaming complaining about a stomachache. We didn't know what to do, so we brought him here." Isabelle started to explain herself to the woman behind the desk.

"Well, if you will excuse me there is a wait you will have to have seat over there." With her glasses perched on the edge of her nose the obnoxious woman pointed to a waiting room.

"Excuse me? He has cancer and is having some kind of damn attack and you are telling me to go and wait? Hell no. We need to see a doctor right now."

"Well, all of these other people could have equally threatening things but you don't see them over here complaining, do you?

"I want to see a doctor now." Isabelle said flatly daring the woman to refuse her.

"You will have to wait like everybody else! Now please go take a seat over there in the waiting room."

"Now listen here lady, His mother has just passed on in the recent bombing. His father is on tour with the U.S. marines and he is in my custody. So for the time being this child is my responsibility. Now he woke up crying and screaming and has completely exhausted himself. He needs to see a doctor now."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry but you are going to have to wait like everyone else."

"Dr. Martin!" Magnus says walking over to the doctor across the room.

"How are you doing Magnus, what seems to be the problem?" He asks cautiously.

"Your bitch of receptionist is not letting Max see a doctor, Max woke up screaming and crying about a pain in his stomach and I think something is really wrong." Isabelle interrupts before Magnus could answer.

"A pain in the abdominal region? That is not good, here bring him back." The three of them hurried behind the doctor and then Alec laid Max on the examination table. He stirred when he was put on the table and then began to blink his eyes open.

"Max? I am Dr. Martin. I need you to point to where it hurts okay?" Max nods and gestures to his stomach and lower ribs.

"Okay, well pain in the ribs can be caused by a swollen spleen or liver and stomach pains are a regular side effect of the chemotherapy. We can give him some meds through the I.V. to help the swelling go down. I buzz for a nurse." After the doctor got nurse with the correct medicines he turned to the three adults in the room.

"Has this happened before?"

Alec, Isabelle and Magnus all glanced around and then looked back at Max lying on the table watching them.

"Max, honey, I'm going to leave with Dr. Martin for a minute. Alec and Magnus will stay here with you okay buddy?"

"Sure, Aunt Izzy." Max said sleepily looking up at everyone. Isabelle practically dragged the doctor out of the room.

"You are his aunt? Not his mother? He said looking at the woman curiously._ Why is a child with cancer staying with an aunt? It's not like anyone's on vacation. Almost no one is flying after the JFK bombing. _

"You see that's thing. I am his aunt. I knew he had cancer but I don't know if that kind of thing was a normal occurrence or not. I've had him in my care for around two weeks."

_Ever since the bombing. _He thought.

"In the time that I have had him he has been okay. A few fevers, some stomach aches but nothing where he woke up in the middle of the night screaming, crying and dripping in sweat with the sheets tangled around his frail body. I have been taking him to chemo these past two weeks and that was bad enough and then seeing him lying there crying? It was heartbreaking and I didn't know what to do. I myself almost had a panic attack. I don't know how to deal with this."

"Why is he staying with you?" Dr. Martin questioned her.

"His mother Alice, she passed away in the bombings at the airport. She was my sister in law. She married my brother Jace when they were both nineteen. She was pregnant and they decided to get married. I know marriages like that usually don't last but, this one would have." She said with tears threatening to slip out of her eyes.

" All of us were close. Alec and Jace were extremely close growing up and stayed that way, all of us were close to Alice so we are all trying to cope. We also have no idea how to handle Max. I'm trying to be strong for him, but if he doesn't make and can't overcome this. I don't know what we would do."

"And his father? Your brother?" He asked.

Isabelle heaved a sigh and then started to explain.

"That's reason number three for all of us being stressed out. Jace, his father, my brother, is on tour with the marines and doesn't get back for a few more weeks. No one has been able to get in contact with him for a while. He doesn't know his wife has died, he doesn't even know that his son has cancer." She said looking dejectedly at the ground.

"Wait, why doesn't he know about Max's cancer?"

"Max was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. Alice was amazing and held up exceptionally well. She broke down once when she first found out, but then she pulled her shit together and dove into everything with a vengeance. She had him at all of his appointments on time; she was almost always able to comfort him. They were so cute together, the way they interacted. It was a beautiful thing. She was probably the most amazing mother I have ever seen. She had a way with children and was in college getting an elementary teaching degree. She couldn't go very often because she needed to take care of Max. She worked so hard to be a mother and still at the same time pursue her dreams."

"Okay, then why does he still not know?"

" As I said, this is recent and was only discovered a few months ago. But Jace was still on tour and Alice wanted him to stay, this would be his last tour as long as he completed it. So when she could have contacted him to tell him, she didn't. And now, we tried to reach him but right now it's nearly impossible. We decided that I would keep Max until he gets back. So, I have temporary custody of Max until his father gets back. I can sign any necessary legal documents and I am currently his legal guardian, if I needed to sign anything."

Dr. Martin stared at the poor woman who was almost on the verge of tears and tried to decide what to say.

_This woman could definitely benefit from stress relief and grief therapy. In fact the whole damn family could probably use some. When the father gets back chances are that he will have PTSD, and then finding out his wife is dead and that his son has cancer? That poor man hasn't gotten break in his life and won't be getting one anytime soon. The son could at least use some counseling for how to deal with stress and pain. Maybe I should recommend Simon? I don't know, I don't want to seem rude, but if it's for the best. _

"I do not mean to insult you, but I think you would greatly benefit from visiting a therapist. Dealing with all this grief and stress from Max, it might be seriously worth your time to at consider it or check it out. Most parents that have children with cancer develop a major or some kind of minor anxiety or stress disorder within two weeks of the diagnoses. And you are acting as the parent and dealing with the loss of a close friend. I can give you a card, just at least look into it?" He finished and then dug around in his pockets looking for his card.

_Damn it. He thinks I'm mental and that I need to see a shrink. But then again I have been really stressed and have almost had a couple of panic attacks, maybe it would be a good idea? Stupid screwed up doctor making me consider going to a therapist. _

"Here. He is a really great guy that I know. He has helped a lot of people, everyone that goes to him or has seen him in the past loves him and swears that he was major part of getting them back to normal and being happy. He is probably around your age, if will excuse me asking, how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-three." She answered.

"Ah, yes well he is twenty-five. But please at least consider going to him?

"Alright. I will at least think about it."

_Well that went better than I expected. _He thought studying the woman as they walked back into the room.

Max was sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed his cute little mouth twisted into a pout.

"Has he been okay?" Isabelle asked in whisper glancing at Alec.

"Yeah, after they gave him the meds he curled right up and fell asleep. He has been sleeping soundly ever since." Alec said back in a hushed tone.

Dr. Martin started examining Max for any other sores or swollen glands,

"I haven't found any other problems, but I think it would be best to keep him here over

night and let him get a full night's worth of sleep.

"That's fine, the sleep would be good for him." Isabelle answered.

"I'll stay here with him, you guys can go back." She said turning back to Alec and Magnus.

"Nonsense. We are already here and unlike you have slept more than a total of three hours in the past week. Go home and sleep. We will stay here with Max. He will be fine. Contrary to popular belief; men are capable of handling things." Magnus says.

"Absolutely," Alec agrees. "We will stay here with Max and he will be fine. You need to get some sleep."

"But what if they need me to sign something?" Isabelle tried to reason with them.

Alec and Magnus turned to Dr. Martin,

"Do you need her to sign anything?" Alec asks him.

"Nope, you are all good, she will need to sign the release forms but we are not going to release him till sometime late tomorrow afternoon so she should be fine. And no one would say anything if Alec signed the forms. I'm sure we could work something out if you weren't here."

"Max will be fine. He is safer here with all the doctors and nurses anyway and we will be here the whole time. Go home and get some sleep." Alec assured his sister.

"Come on, I will walk out, I need to get home to sleep too, my shift was over a while ago."

Isabelle finally gives in and starts to walk out with the doctor.

_Wait, if his shift was over a while ago, then why?_

"Oh, I'm so sorry, did we keep you here?"

"It's perfectly alright, it happens quite often and with all the normal hospital traffic plus the excess bombing injures I haven't been home on time for quite a long time.

Isabelle calls a cab and heads back to her apartment to crash and sleep away all of her problems.

"Uncle Alec, Uncle Magnus! Wake up! Wake up!" squealed a very ecstatic Max.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there buddy. Why are you so excited?" Says a groggy Alec. _ What the hell is this kid so excited about; he just woke up in a hospital bed?_

"I'm in the hospital!" Max says even more elated than before.

"And this is a good thing because," Magnus asks sharing a baffled look with Alec.

"Clary is here too! We can play!" He says with a huge grin on his face.

"Who is Clary?" asks Magnus.

"The girl that we kept visiting because she was here all alone. She woke up yesterday! She still doesn't know who she is but the nurses picked out a name for her. It's Clary. Aunt Izzy promised me that we could play today because yesterday I couldn't because I had to take a nap." Max says, starting to ramble.

"Okay, buddy, we'll see what we can do." Alec says. "But how about some breakfast first?"

"Sure!" Max said in a chipper voice.

He ate his breakfast as fast as humanly possible and then demanded to be taken upstairs to see Clary. But when they arrived a shocking sight met their disbelieving eyes.

**So lets recap; Max is feeling like shit. Izzy almost beats up a receptionist, has a mental breakdown and then is suggested for therapy. Alec and Magnus are fantastic uncles. And then Clary... Dun dun da dunn! Oh no!**

**Review, follow and favorite! All are appreciated. I will try to reply to all that review. **

**Thank you! **


	3. Chapter 3

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty, you have an eager visitor waiting, and hoping to play with you. Can I tell them to come up" The nurse said.

Clary's eyes snapped open, and for a few moments she was disorientated. Then she remembered, well, at least she remembered what happened yesterday. _Right, so I still don't know who I am, or if I have a family or anything at all. I don't even know what I look like._

"Before you let him, it's that little boy again right? And could I look into a mirror first? I want to see myself."  
"I don't know if that is such a good idea, maybe wait till you have healed more?"

_Oh, dear. It would crush her spirit if she looked now, but if she really wants to can I stop her? _Nancy mulled it over trying to come up with a way to stop her, giving she went to get a mirror. Nancy called down and told the nurses on the other floor that Max could come up.

Clary took a hand held mirror that was probably about the size of a face, and kept it facing down. Slowly, after working up the nerve she flipped it over.

Screams pierced the air and the little boy Max came into the room at the same time. No one knew how to react, expressions of shock, surprise, desperation and sadness flashed across faces.

"Clary, what's wrong? Why did you scream? Does your tummy hurt? Mine hurt last night but I feel all better now. They can give you something to make you feel better too! Don't cry please don't cry. I can help you. I can hold your hand while they give you needles, my mommy did that for me, but she is away so Aunt Izzy held my hand instead. I can do that for you!"

_Pull it together Clary, break down later. In and out. In and out. I can keep up this facade at least until he has to leave. _

Tears continued to slip out of her eyes even though she fought it. She wiped away her tears, pushing her problems aside.

"Hi! Your Max right? I'm sorry I must seem so upset. I don't need any medicine right now. But thank you, how are you doing?"

"Yes, I'm Max! This is my Uncle Alec and Uncle Magnus. They are here because Aunt Izzy needed to go home. But I loved my Uncles! They like to play with me we race cars. And don't tell him I said this but Uncle Alec is better than Uncle Magnus." He giggles and smiles up at me.

"What was that little man?" Magnus asked him playfully, "You didn't say that Uncle Alec is better than me did you?"

Max puts on his innocent face and smiles up at him bashfully, "No, of course not Uncle Manus. I would ever do such a thing."  
"Did you mean never do such a thing?" Alec asks him.

"That's what I said. Ever." He says completely sure of himself. All of them chuckle at him. Slight smiles gracing their faces.

"I think you meant never," Clary says smiling at the boy was standing next to her bed.

"Ever mind. Can we play now?" They all chuckled at his antics.

"Sure, but I can't do much." She said apologetically.

"Can you play cards? I love to play cards! How about Go fish?"

Clary looked at the nurse, "Do you have any cards?"

"I think I have some at the desk. I'll be right there."

Nancy came back with some cards and Clary started to play with the little boy with blonde hair.

_Back in Isabelle's apartment._

Isabelle stretched and glanced at the clock. She shot up, _Max! _She thought. _Oh my god! He was still at the hospital. Alec and Magnus could take him home. He was okay for the moment. But what if he wasn't? _Her thoughts continued to haunt her. _What if she couldn't take care of him, or pay for all of his chemo treatments. Could she handle all of this? _Shaking her head she chuckled to herself. She had to. There was no choice in the matter; Family took care of family no matter what. She owed it to Alice and to Jace to do this for them. Alec and Magnus would help her. And yet her whole body still slumped and she slid back down onto the bed. Heart wrenching sobs wracked her body. It was too much. It was all too much.

Her long black hair started to get damp before she could stop crying. And then she remembered. All at once that little rectangular piece of paper was burning a hole in her pocket. Maybe she should? Magnus and Alec had max at the moment and he was probably still at the hospital so if he needed something or if something went wrong he would have proper care immediately. But even if he could help her how could she pay for it? Would it be worth it? Having to see a therapist at age twenty three? That sounds terrible. How would she ever get any real respect in the business world if it got out that she was seeing a shrink? Climbing out of bed she started to pull out new clothes and brush through her damp tangled hair. Eying herself in the mirror a snap decision was made. She had to go. She wasn't dealing and even if she wasn't ready to admit it, she needed help.

She stared up at a large building before her. After squinting a couple times at the business card she had figured out the address. Simon Lewis. That was the name of the person she was looking for. Do I really want to do this? After a few minutes of hesitation she finally worked up the courage to enter the building. A bell jingled as she pushed through the door. Inside and inviting lobby was waiting, but a cold stern looking woman was waiting at the desk. A nameplate read Imogene.

"Um, hello, I'm looking for a Dr. Simon Lewis?"  
"Do you have an appointment?" She rasped her voice like steel.

"I well, no. I, a doctor recommended him to me and I worked up the courage to finally come here and I was hoping I could talk to him? It's been really tough lately and I just, I just, I'm not sure,".

"Well, obviously you don't know how things work in the real world. If you would like to talk to Dr. Lewis, you can go home and call. You then set up an appointment. You show up when you were scheduled for and are allowed to see him for a predetermined amount of time. What happened to you? Did your first boyfriend break up with you? Your parent's divorced? It's okay you will get over it." The cold-hearted woman smiled condescendingly at Isabelle as she finished ranting.

_The nerve of that woman! How dare she assume, I didn't do anything to her! God damn it. I knew I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake, Stupid doctor for making me think I need this. I can deal just fine. I'm sure that I will get over it._

"For your information, my parents died a few years ago, and I haven't had a boyfriend or girlfriend in years, bitch. Thank you, you were extremely helpful.

Isabelle scrambled out of the lobby and almost made it to the door before a few tears managed to escape. _Damn people. This is why it's easier to just shut up and not do anything. I tried to do something, I was friendly and then she did that. Well, screw her. Screw people. This is why it's just easier to ignore everyone and pretend that you're oblivious. _Tears were falling freely as she pushed through the door. She was staring intently at her feet and didn't see him coming.

Smack! She crashed into some ones chest and sprawled out all over the ground. _Please do knock me over; I was having a fantastic day already._

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Do I know you? Oh! You're crying!" A tall skinny looking man offered her hand and helped her. She glanced at him. He didn't look professional and looked about her age, maybe he was going to see Dr. Simon as well?"

"No, it's okay." She said her voice shaky. It really wasn't okay in fact nothing was okay. But that was beside the point. "But I wouldn't recommend going in there. I just worked up the courage to walk in and that woman is a bitch. Someone recommended Dr. Lewis to me, but now, never mind. I'm sorry to bother you, I will be going now."  
"Wait, what was wrong with the woman?" He asked curiously with a strange look on his face.

"She was just a bitch, and this is why I don't trust or like talking to people." She mumbled the last part hoping that he wouldn't hear.

"I'm going to fire her, I have been threatening to fire her for awhile now, I'm Simon Lewis, You were coming to see me?"  
_Shit, shit, shit. I come to see him, and he isn't there. When I actually find him I crash into him and rant about how horrible his secretary is. _

"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's just that you were dressed so casually and looked younger, I'm terribly sorry. If you will excuse me, I will be leaving now,"

"Oh, no. Please, lets go inside, We can have a proper introduction and you can explain why you were coming to see me,"  
"I'm sure you're busy, and I don't have an appointment."

"Nonsense. Right this way." He held the door open and she walked back inside the lobby. trying to keep her head down, so that hopefully the evil secretary wouldn't see her. No such luck.

"I thought I told you to come back when you had an appointment?" She exclaimed.

"And I thought I told you that harassing my clients would get you fired."

"Dr. Lewis, she burst in here without an appointment and demanded to see you. She left me no choice but to politely explain the proper action."

Isabelle snorted, _politely my ass, you presumptuous bitch. _

"I'm not even going to deal with this now. I will deal with you later, please clear my schedule for the rest of the afternoon." Dr. Lewis declared sending her a sharp look and then motioned for me to follow him.

"I apologize again, she is a shared secretary for the building, I don't know who hired her, or why she even became a secretary in first place. Thank god she never became a teacher. However people have reasons for being the way they are, so we shouldn't be too hard on her. Now, a proper introduction, I'm Dr. Simon Lewis. I'm a psychologist or a therapist in simpler terms. You said someone recommended me?"

"Ah, yes, a Dr. Martin he works over at New York Downtown hospital. After talking to me for a little while he suggested that I come see you." She mumbled looking down and playing with her hands.

"Okay, let me explain what I can do for you, before we get into anything else. As a therapist it's my job to help you overcome traumatic events, deal with stress, and help you move on. I'm not going to be able to solve all your problems and it may take some time, but that's what I can offer you. After you tell me more about yourself, I can suggest a time frame and how many times a week would suit you best. Don't feel overwhelmed, if after today you hate me and don't think that I can do anything you can leave. But if someone sent you here, there's something you need to get off your chest and I can help you with that." He looked at her face trying to gauge how she was taking it. His eyebrows furrowed, and a slight frown flitted across your face.  
" How long have you done that for?" He asks her, as she sat down on the couch.

_What the hell is he going on about? _She thought and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"You are masking all of your emotions. There are no traces of any emotion on your face, your body is tense, I can tell you are nervous but other than that, nothing. How long have you hidden your emotions for? A blank face such as yours, takes some time to perfect."  
"Probably around six or seven years ago." Isabelle said a look of apprehension prominent across on her face.

"Okay, I'm going to go out on limb here and say there is a very specific reason for that, if you could tell me? And please don't be nervous. I'm not going to judge you. You have a hundred percent patient confidentiality. Unless you have critical information to a criminal investigation, I am bound by law not to say anything to anyone."  
"My parents died six years ago, my brother and I were seventeen."

"Okay, this is a good start. I'm glad you feel that you can talk to me. Can you tell me about yourself and why you felt that you needed to come see me?"

"I have problems trusting people, I have never had a true romantic relationship. I have gotten over my parent death, but sometimes the pain comes back. But the real reason I decided to come here is that my nephew has cancer. He was diagnosed a few months ago. My sister in law handled it well and was able to move on and take care of him. She died in JFK airport bombings. Max, my nephew, has been with me ever since."

"And where is Max's father, your brother, I presume."

"Yes, Jace, is my brother, he is a year older than Alec and I. Alec is my twin. Jace is stationed overseas."

"Max is in your care then?"  
"Yes, I have temporary custody of him."

"Do you live alone? Or with your brother? A friend? Where are you and Max staying?"_ friend, oh, he thinks that I have friends, as if. _Isabelle thought darkly to herself.  
"I have my own apartment, Max is living with me, at least until Jace gets back."

"Your brother Alec, what is your relationship with him?"

"It's good, we talk he helps me with Max. He and Magnus are at the hospital with Max now."

"So he is helping you take care of Max?"

"Yes." Dr. Lewis studies the woman carefully, trying to figure out the best way to continue

asking her questions and where he even wanted to try to begin.

"But, the real reason that I brought myself here is that I'm not handling all the stress. I almost had a huge panic attack last night when Max woke me up saying that his tummy hurt. And then I lost it this morning. I just, broke down. I never break down, I never cry. I didn't even cry when my own parents died. I became a shell, I didn't cry. So why am I crying now?" Isabelle's voice cracked as trailed off, trying to get grip on her emotions.

"I'm going to help you. I'm not saying it will get better right away, because it won't, but things will change. I will help you learn to cope and hopefully we can work on trust as well. But before we dive into what you are dealing with now, let's start with what you dealt with and why are this way." He peered at her through his glasses, thinking and analyzing, trying to decide what would help her best.

"We are going to start where it began. You explained that your parents died when 16 or 17 you said? Did you have a close relationship with them? Did you generally love them?"

"Are you asking me if I loved my parents?" an offended tone seeps into her voice? " Of course I did. At least I tell myself I did."

"What happened that made you question it?"  
"My parents never had a close or strong relationship, when I was around 10 I caught my dad cheating on my mother, after that I was wary of pretty much everyone. It's also why I probably have never been in a relationship myself. I know, or am afraid that as soon as I start one that they will cheat on me and lie to me. I don't really have any friends for the same reason. I don't even like talking to people, I'm afraid they will use whatever I say against me. This fear even applied to my parents. My dad threatened to hurt me if I told anyone what I saw. At home I lived in constant fear that anything I said would come back to harm me. After, after they died I didn't live in constant fear anymore."

Dr. Lewis watched as a few emotions slipped across her face, ever so slightly, but still present. Her mask was cracking; talking about things that had troubled her seemed to bring out some human emotions.

"I know, it makes me a horrible unfeeling bitch. Another problem is that my brother Alec, he is gay. It doesn't bother me and honestly I don't understand why anyone has anything against being gay. However my Dad would go on rants about how being gay is a sin and not natural. It took three years for Alec to trust me enough to hint at the fact that he wasn't straight. I don't know that he would have even told me if he hadn't met Magnus. It was really hard for him to tell anyone and be open about it. If my parents hadn't died he probably wouldn't have even considered it. He would have married a nice girl because that's what my parents wanted and thought was right."

"Feeling that way doesn't make you a bitch. It makes you logical. You realize that if your parents hadn't died things would have different, and that some might not have been for the better. That's okay and normal. But in my office you are not allowed to insult yourself, you need to get away from that. It's not good for your self image and it's certainly not helping you in any way, okay?"

"Okay."

*****cries at The fault in the stars reference*****

**Thanks for reading, I know it's been awhile. This chapter explains more if Isabelle's past and life and what she is dealing with. Hope you liked it. **

**Leave me a review, okay?  
"Okay"**

***** cries again*****


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